交作業
題目：A true story in my family trip
【批改後】
It was three years ago. Filled with excitement, I and my family headed for the 羅東運動公園 by bicycle.
On the way to the park, suddenly my son cried out "Can mom make my right foot pull out from the wheel? I was hurt really bad."
I felt so scared.
While we were passing through the park, a woman kindly showed (用tell更好) me to called the 119 for help. (註) Then we followed the ambulance to go to the Emergency room.
Waiting outside the room, I felt so worry because the doctor still didn't give me any response. (因為後面是room 要用outside，for後面是接"人"，wait for someone；haven't + V表示另一種時間性，這裡比較不適合)
At this moment, a man in white walked straight to me.
"Miss, he is all right, please take it easy!" he said.
I felt so relaxed because of the exciting news. (刪除一個逗點，這裡不需要) 正好有些人經過公園，一個婦人很好心的告訴我請119來幫忙。然後我們跟著救護車去了急診室。 While someone passing through the park, a woman kindly showed me to called the 119 for help, Then we followed the ambulance going to the Emergency room.
Gin老師。補充說明
原句中文大意：
只會套用句型的原句
While someone passing through the park, a woman kindly showed me to called the 119 for help, Then we followed the ambulance going to the Emergency room.
第一種敘述式
While we were passing through the park, a woman kindly showed (用tell更好) me to called the 119 for help.
第二種敘述式
At this time, a woman among the passersby kindly told me to call 119 for help.
(passerby是路過的人，複數是passersby)
你原來的句子用while....，在句型上並沒有錯，但是在句意上卻沒有表達你原來的意思，因為while的後面你用someone，而後面的句子用woman當主詞，可是someone與woman之間沒有任何關聯，看句子的人會搞不清楚這位"女士"與"某人"，到底有什麼關係?為何會寫在一塊?
英文句子很注重邏輯順序，以及連貫性，跟中文比較隱晦的表達方式，稍有不同。
Gin老師：當然對我有幫助，謝謝。
：：：：【批改前】
It was three years ago. I and my family filled with excitement and headed for the 羅東運動公園 by bicycle.
On the way to the park, suddenly my son cried out " Can mom make my right foot pull out from the wheel? I was hurt really bad."
I felt so scared.
While someone passing through the park, a woman kindly showed me to called the 119 for help, Then we followed the ambulance going to the Emergency room.
Waiting out side for the room, I felt so worry because the doctor still haven't give me any response.
At this moment, a man in white walked straight to me.
"Miss, he is all right, please take it easy!" he said.
I felt so relaxed, because the exciting news.
：：：：
用了這些【課文例句】：
1. It was 7 o’clock in the morning. I left home with hand luggage and headed for the airport by taxi. （Lesson II）
2. On the way to the meeting ….. + “Watch out！ ” someone cried out. + I was hurt really bad. （Lesson I）
3. I felt so lost ….. （Lesson II） + “We are now passing through some strong turbulence….” （Lesson III） + the flight attendant kindly showed me to …. （Lesson III） + She called the police for help … then she followed the ambulance and move straight to the Emergency room. （Lesson I）
4. Waiting in the room, I felt so lost because no one could give me any response. （Lesson II）
5. At this moment, a man in black walked straight to me. （Lesson II） + “Miss, he is gone….” （Lesson I）
6. I felt a little dizzy because of the exciting news.（Lesson II）
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